Harmonious Ideals for Life

“If we can maintain at the same time, the sense of being this specific ‘John Jones’ with his role in life and know also underneath this that we are the whole works (universe), we get a very marvelous and agreeable arrangement. This is a most remarkable harmoniousness – it gives ones life a great sense of joy and exuberance – IF you can carry on these two things at once. If, in other words, you know that all the serious predicaments of life are a game.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, something to be condemned, to take your own individual life seriously – in dead earnest – and to have all of the problems that go with that… Do you understand that being that way, being a real mixed up human being, is a manifestation of nature, that is something just like the patterns on the waves or a sea shell? You know, we pick up shells – I always keep one around as sort of an example – for many things – and say, “My goodness isn’t that gorgeous, there’s not an aesthetic fault in it anywhere. It’s absolutely perfect.” Now I wonder if these fish look at each others shells and say, “Don’t you think she’s kind of fat?” “Oh my, those markings aren’t very well spaced.”

Cause that’s what we do.

We don’t realize that all of us, in our various goings on and behaviors and so on, are just as much or even more marvelous, much more complicated, much more interesting. All these gorgeous faces I’m looking at; you know some are supposedly pretty, some are supposedly not so pretty, but they’re all absolutely gorgeous. And everybody’s eyes is a piece of jewelry beyond compare.


– Alan Watts

Transcend Perspective. Detach and See the Real YOU.

Power lies in the observation. It enables you to change your perspective. Transcend your default perspective and you’ll see everything is fundamentally neutral – not good/bad, black/white.

Just as rainy days are neutral despite the typical negative connotation, so are religious viewpoints neutral. You are not your thoughts. You are not your ego. You cannot overcome your ego with your ego. In fact, your ego it doesn’t actually exist. That is not who you really are. It’s a made up identity based on things other than yourself. You are not where you work or what your occupation is. Terms such as father and husband are useful for identifying your relation to another specific human being, but it is not who YOU are.

In the same way, you also do not need to be attached to what you believe to be true of this place you find yourself in. Try to only observe the things you believe to be true while keeping yourself separate from it. This strips it’s power over you.

All too often, we are at the effect rather than the cause. Once you start to see your thoughts and beliefs for what they are (separate from you), you start to gain your power back because you are no longer putting that limitation on who you actually are as a being. You are living at the cause, which is the true you. Aware. Awake.

Detach More, Worry Less & the Fallacy of the Pursuit of ‘Happiness’

– I need to detach from my wife and family, lest I be the little girl who squeezed her new rabbit to death on the way home from the pet store out of love. I must detach to let them experience life.

– I don’t know enough to worry. Who do I think I am? Worry is betting against myself, praying to the devil. Worry is preposterous.

– The moment I translate a particular short sensation as ‘happiness’, I begin thinking I must chase that short moment to be ‘happy’. And all that I am doing to attain that ‘happiness’, to keep it going on and on, (the pursuit of happiness) is only turning the majority of my life experiences into the opposite of happiness. I am stuck with unhappiness. The same is true with pleasure. I want to be in that state of pleasure all the time but it’s just not possible. By chasing pleasure I create pain. Meditation, yoga, etc say they will give me permanent bliss. The demand for permanence in every area of human existence is the cause of human misery. There is no such thing.

All Alright

“I’ve given everyone I know,

A good reason to go.

And I came back with a belief,

That everyone I love is gonna leave.

But it’s all alright, I guess it’s all alright.

I got nothing left inside of my chest,

But it’s all alright.”

Another Demon Attack

I forget what # we’re on now. Who cares. Nobody reads this. 


It began last night with my incompetence. She concluded the only possible reasons were either I was dying or I thought she was gross and worthless . She ran with the latter. Hard. 

Today I left her a sweet note and a bunch of lovey texts but it didn’t matter to it. Though I think it may have helped her come out of it quicker once its grip was loosened using these ‘foot holds’ to climb back up. It blamed me for things I never thought or did, accused me of shit, and when I got home for lunch it made her heart hurt so badly that her entire body/being was in excruciating pain. It made her scream at the top of her lungs over and over and hit herself (thighs and face/head), and she punched the door frame so hard it bent the metal plate. Then she tried ripping her heart out of her skin saying “I can’t stand to be in here another minute, I have to get out. This has to end. I have to leave. I have nowhere to go.” Deeply sobbing. 

Stages I went through…

I extended patience longer than I had available. Then snapped in defensive arguments as to why none of those claims made sense. Then I tried reminding her that parts of her cycle do make things feel more intense but it’s not really that bad. And you know how that went over. But again, foot holds to climb out with later I hope. When those things made zero change in any regard, I disconnected and watched her go even deeper and let her hit herself and scream bloody murder. 

That’s when I ‘woke up’ and recognized this wasn’t just a bad day or intense self-hatred. It was a demon attack. Signs include but are not limited to:

– Denial of being anything supernatural.

– Sensitive subject blows up out of miscommunication

– Clarification of subject is not able to be remedied by further communication. (Block on communication)

– Phrases/concepts are received completely different than sent including words that have actually changed. Not just misinterpreted. 

– My disconnect from trying to help bc nothing’s working. (This is the goal of the attack)

I prayed in tongues intensely while laying hands on her head but it didn’t make an immediate difference. She continued on for a few more minutes and then suddenly it lifted. Not sure if it was delayed or if something else happened that ended it. 

We put on loud music and forced ourselves to dance. We hugged a lot and used our astral imagination to fix each other. She removed ulsers from my mouth and asked if I could fix her brain. I used my hands to scoop up all the pieces that she’s been working on and dumped them into the front/center part where they belonged. She said that’s exactly how it felt… like her introspection was good work but was in the wrong place unable to be used properly. 

We’re exhausted. I never went back to work. The kids are home now. The end. 

My First Angel Number

I’ve noticed that the blogs and YouTube channels I’ve been frequenting almost all have articles on Angel numbers but I never looked into it bc I figured that since I haven’t noticed any numbers calling out to me, it just wasn’t a thing I got. I got other stuff like tongues and astral vision. Well, I’ve learned my lesson I think. Things change all the time. 

Recently I’ve been catching myself looking up at the clock at exactly 1:17. A lot. And the kids have been getting back into halo too so obviously 117 is all over those toys, audio books, and game scenes. I just figured that the time was only standing out bc of the Halo stuff. But today I looked it up anyway, just to see, and I have to say, I definitely took this message to be a confirmation of everything Bella and I have been feeling.